Clarifying the Fetishization of Mixed Kids
It's weird when a post that's a year old starts getting comments all of a sudden.
If you haven't read the post I'm referencing this week, The Fetishization of Mixed Kids and Why it Needs to Stop, click here. If you don't feel like reading all that, then just know I talk about how dumb it is when people date interracially for the sole purpose of having mixed children with light hair and hazel eyes. I also discuss how mixed children all look differently, and assuming someone is mixed just because they're pretty is WRONG.
After reading through the newer comments on the post, I thought I should clarify some of the points I made in the article.
Not All Couples
I find it a little annoying that I need to point this out, but if I describe a group of people and you do not fall into that description, chances are I'm not talking about you. So when someone commented on the article and said, "Not all couples are like the one you described..." Please understand, I'm not one to generalize and in no way am I saying that EVERYONE acts a certain way. That's how I know someone hasn't read my posts, because every week I stress the multi-dimensional nature of the human identity, and how groups aren't a monolith.
It's the equivalent of saying "Not all men are cheaters," to someone who just got cheated on. Do you think they really want to hear that right now?
So let me put out an official disclaimer: Not all interracial couples have children for the sole purpose of creating that "perfect mixed child." I should know this, I'm in an interracial couple! So are my parents! Trust me, Carter and I aren't plottin' on our kids having blue eyes and honey brown hair. My point wasn't that all couples are scheming for this one kid, it was that people do it, and they shouldn't. Here's more evidence of people fetishizing mixed kids.
It happens, I'm not just pulling it out of thin air.
The Perfect Mixed Child
Now y'all know exactly what I'm referencing. But here, so you have no misconceptions about what I mean when I refer to the perfect mixed child.
Those hazel to blue eyes, the super light skin, the light colored and loosely curled hair. I'm not saying that these children are literally perfect, I'm saying this is what people have stereotyped mixed children as. Like if you were to visualize a mixed child, the chances are, you'd think of one of these children.
But we know that mixed people are so diverse. They literally come in every color, gender, shape, hair color, ability, all of the above and more.
I chose to use myself as an example that we don't all look the same, because my sister (who is fully Jamaican) has brown eyes, and so do I. I wrote:
"I don’t have hazel eyes. Never have. My fully Jamaican sister and I have the same dark, twin vistas of hell. Sorry to disappoint! If you're having mixed kids for this purpose, you'll be sorely disappointed to find out that there's no recipe for that perfect mixed baby."
Let the record show that I wasn't saying brown eyes are ugly. Why would I go on myself like that? And I sure as heck wasn't being racist against black people as one person insinuated:
"So because you have dark eyes that you shared with your fully black half sister that makes you an unperfect looking mixed person? Does that mean your sister is unnatractive as well? Funny how it's the black features that you have that you used as an example to show how unperfect looking you are."
Actual footage of me trying to figure out how brown eyes are a "black feature":
Like... I could have just as easily said that my fully white mother and I have brown eyes. Also, was I saying I looked "unperfect"? No, I was saying that the stereotypical mixed child does not exist because we're all different.
Or, maybe you're like the other commenter who said I sounded like a "jealous girlfriend," because I don't have hazel eyes.
Sorry for the grammar here, but I can't phrase this differently.
AIN'T NOBODY JEALOUS OVER HERE BOOBOO, I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM.
Can't believe I'm saying this, but for the record, I don't wish I had blue eyes or whatever other problematic anglo-saxon features that racist people find pretty on brown skin.
I really love feedback on my articles, so getting these comments and being able to respond to them was a lot of fun. But for this specific article I felt there was a disconnect between my intent and the message that some people received. So I thought I should address that.
Here's the main point of my article: Do not fetishize mixed children. Children who aren't mixed are just as precious and important, and shouldn't be marginalized by people choosing partners solely because they want their children to look a certain way.